Attack of the Killer Hormones

I'd like to preface this by asking everyone to pray for my sweet husband. Sadly, as the father of my child and my life partner, he has to deal with the brunt of everything that is happening to me. He's been so supportive and good to me, and I know he has a lot on his plate. Now with my pregnancy seemingly heading into full swing, he's also going to have to put up with the intense mood swings and sounds of retching coming from the bathroom.

So with that said, the danged internet lied to me! I've been merrily going along thinking that I pretty much had it made in the shade. I've been a little nauseous and have gotten sick a few times (like 5 or 6 times, so minimal in the grand scheme of things) but haven't had any real morning sickness like some of the horror stories I've heard. I've been tired but not falling asleep at my desk tired; and I've been emotional but certainly not Joan Crawford hormonal. Since I'm now in my 12th week, and nearing the end of my first trimester, I did the silliest thing of trusting the information on the internet that said I would start feeling better and more like myself.

However, in my case, the internet flat out lied! It all started on Monday morning when I got sick once before I stepped out of the house and again when I reached work. I had to choke through my breakfast, eating so slowly that it took me an hour to finish the whole thing because I kept gagging on what I was eating. This was also the day that I could barely keep my eyes open and actually wound up dozing at my desk a few times before I realized that dancing with the guy who plays Jesse on "Glee" was not my actual job. I still pray that I wasn't snoring during this. When I got home I was so sleepy that John told me to go to bed, but instead I went and laid on the couch and tried to doze off there. But of course nothing happened and now I was awake.

I had a huge craving for spaghetti and sent John across town (I love you baby!) to Fazoli's to get me some spaghetti since we were out of the ingredients to make it because I haven't had any energy to go to grocery store. When he got back it again took me almost an hour to finish my dinner of salad and spaghetti because every 5 minutes I felt like it was all going to come back up again. The rest of the night was fairly uneventful.

Then we head into yesterday. Again, I get sick before I leave the house and have to choke down my breakfast at work. I wasn't as tired as Monday, but I definitely wasn't feeling all that well. Also, all yesterday I felt on the verge of tears, and actually did start crying at work because I have been making myself worry about my weight. When I got home John and I took the dog for a walk and after sat and talked for awhile. Then I started watching TV, watching the Glee episode from two weeks ago, and at the end I was literally bawling my eyes out. If John had walked in then he would have seen his wife a heaving mess of tears and snot. I also got emotional that night going to sleep. I almost broke down crying to John because I couldn't get comfortable in bed. A mass of hair up my nose stopped the tears however.

Finally, today I've already upset a co-worker by "snapping" at her. Getting sick in the mornings hasn't stopped either. So to me it seems my symptoms are getting worse, not getting better. Which proves to me the internet lies, everyone woman and every pregnancy is different, and obviously I'm one of the women where the "You'll start feeling remarkably better the closer to you get to the end of your first trimester" does not apply. It's the attack of the killer hormones for me right now, which is why I'd like everyone to please pray for my husband.